My Goals for 2017

This year I have a couple goals that I'm working toward. After a few weeks of January, this is what I've felt pulled and prompted to do: make more things with my hands/exercise creativity in my home, have people over to my home more, and LET GO of the way things look, and focus on being present. Love and genuine, thoughtful interaction is more important, more rewarding, more satisfying than making things look a certain way. If I continue to fall for the lie that things will be more gratifying when they look just right I'm going to miss out on the best things life has to offer...namely: sincere, meaningful relationships. I want to invite people over and not spend the whole day cleaning the house to prepare, because they don't care, and because actually being together with the people we love is what we really want and need, not a spotless house. I don't understand why this is such a hang up for me. So my goal is to be open armed. I want not only to share what I have by giving, but invite people into my home to share with me. I think my eyes are going to be opened to the absolute abundance of this beautiful life around me.
"Let there be something of a light tone in your life. Let there be fun and happiness, a sense of humor, the capacity to laugh occasionally at things that are funny. In all of living have much of fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.
Walk with faith, rejoicing in the beauties of nature, in the goodness of those you love, in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine." -Gordon B. Hinckley

Our Weekend in LA

Last weekend we went to LA with BJ because he had a work event and the company had gotten him a hotel room for a night. My favorite thing about staying in a hotel is that I, as the mom, can relax. When I'm sitting down or laying down I don't have visual reminders staring me in the face of what still "needs" to be done. (I'm working on figuring out what that "needs" actually means... aka really, truly being more present.) Also, I love having a change of scenery every once in a while. There's an automatic excitement when we go somewhere new, and it feels nice and refreshing to be excited about something.

Relaxing with Oliver on the bed

We left in the afternoon around one, and drove to LA through a crazy rain storm. We left poor Jovi at home in the backyard with only a chair under the patio cover to keep her dry. Her own little island amongst the rain. We got to the hotel and checked in, and hung out while BJ and his dad put on their tuxedos for the work event. I had never seen BJ in a tux before. He looked spectacular! I wish I could have been on his arm that night, but I wasn't invited!

I loved watching these boys get ready together. It was really a cute sight.

I took the kids to The Grove. I had wanted to take them to Griffith Park because it is somewhere we'd never been, but it had been pouring all day, it was going to be dark soon, and I didn't want to risk getting myself in a stressful or precarious situation with the three babies and no husband. I know The Grove fairly well, and knew we could do a little shopping and get dinner. It was only about 6 miles from the hotel. Ellie picked out a popcorn stand from the American Girl Doll Store. Lorenzo chose a set of miniature dinosaurs from Pottery Barn Kids. Then we ate at The Cheesecake Factory, watched the water show for a few minutes, and headed home. It went really pretty well at first, but got stressful and overwhelming at standing up! and Lorenzo wanted help eating and was crying about something, and things were unraveling fast.

We came back to the hotel and I let them play with their toys for a little while while I got Oliver down, then we did the routine for them, and around 9:30 I finally got to eat my dinner while watching You've Got Mail on my phone. I fell asleep around 10, and BJ got back to the hotel around 11.

The next day we got up and got ready, checked out of the hotel, and got breakfast at some blast from the past diner we stumbled upon, and then spent a few hours at the LA Zoo. It was such a great weekend together as a family doing some special things. Funny how 24 hours can wear you out!

My Work as a Mother

It was a good, full day of homemaking and mothering. After a tip from a friend and my mother-in-law, I've decided to try doing all of the laundry just one day a week rather than a little bit every day or two. Today I stayed home and ran the washer and dryer from 7 am to 10 pm. The final load is still spinning in the dryer. I washed everyone's sheets, Oliver's blankets, and all of the dirty clothes and towels. In between loads I made the kids breakfast: hot chocolate and toast that I had promised them the night before. Read my scriptures, packed Ellie's lunch, talked to my mother in law, and got myself and the kids (except Lorenzo- he was in pajamas the entire day) ready for the day. We took Ellie to school and dropped Lorenzo off at a friend's to play. I folded laundry, called the doctor, made a Valentine's day bunting for the fire place, and vacuumed the upstairs. Picked up Lorenzo and brought a friend home with him to play. Snacks for the boys, more laundry, and lunch. Picked up toys, started pizza dough for dinner, and greeted Ellie and her friend home from school. Put clean sheets back on the bed, layed down for a couple minutes, talked to BJ, helped Ellie with sight words, ate dinner, had Family Home Evening, said family prayer, danced in the kitchen and ate ice cream bars, bathed the kids, brushed teeth (for Lorenzo's first time today), read Little House On the Prairie, put the kids down. Looked at my phone for a minute, folded clothes while watching Barefoot Contessa, cleaned up the kitchen while listening to Heaven Is Here, and put the house to bed. All throughout the day I held Oliver, fed Oliver, changed Oliver, made Oliver smile, and put him down for naps. I held Lorenzo when he had a hard moment and I hugged Ellie when her umbrella broke. Now I'm sitting in bed talking to BJ, listening to Oliver and Jovi sleeping, and feeling the best kind of tired. There is so much to do to run this house and keep this family healthy and happy and thriving. It is the best kind of work I've ever done. It is a work that is constant and steady and unrelenting, yet ennobling, important, and gratifying. I love the feeling I have of bringing something that is pure and good and holy into this world. That is the feeling I have when I am about my business as a mother. Sure it is exhausting, and daunting and never-ending, but being the safe place that my children and husband get to come home to is so satisfying. Today I came across this line: "In raising my children I have lost my mind and gained my soul." That is truth.

(Artwork by one of my favorite artists Brian Kershisnik )

Our Christmas This Year - 2016

We spent our very first Christmas this year with just our little family. It was really neat, yet really different. It was so fun to be together, and feel such an intimacy with our little family. It was hard though pulling everything off ourselves. It was exhausting! And nothing looked the way I dreamed it would. I envisioned perfect decorations, a fancy, gorgeous meal, and plenty of perfect photo ops. Instead, our desperately-in-need-of-a-deep-clean house was partially decorated, our meals were semi-homemade, and beautiful photos just didn't happen. It was such a fun and memorable year though.

Two days before Christmas BJ gave me an early present that he and Aaron Tolman had made for me- something I've wanted for years. A swing for the tree in our front yard!! I am thrilled about it!

Then later that afternoon we sent Ellie and Lorenzo to the Anderson's house so we could set up the swing set we were giving them for the family gift this year.

(Running to Kyla's!) (Setting up the swing set was hilarious. BJ hated it- obviously...but was such a good sport about it and he grumbled and joked and we laughed our way through the whole thing.)

The next morning was Christmas Eve and we knew were going to be leaving to Utah on Christmas morning, so we let the kids see and play on the new swing set. It was a huge hit! They love it. Especially that glider.

Then we went to Romp-O-Rama, came home, and BJ's parents came over to visit. The kids played some more, and then I made dinner, we ate, opened Christmas pajamas, read Luke 2, and read the new Christmas Eve books the kids got (Crictor and Extra Yarn) and put the kids to bed together in Ellie's room.

(See what I mean about these photos? Definitely not what I was picturing in my head! :)  )
On Christmas morning we opened presents, had velvet crumb cake for breakfast, and then hurried and got ready for church and got packed. We went to a beautiful Christmas sacrament meeting. BJ spoke and did a great job, and afterward we ran home, put everything in the truck and jumped on the road for Utah!

Not the most glamorous Christmas day spending it on the road, but we were happy to be together, and when we drove into Utah at 11 pm, it was a winter wonderland! More than anything we felt full of love and gratitude for one another and our Savior.

A Day at the Park

On Saturday morning BJ was busy helping his brother move, so I decided to go on an outing with the kids to the park. Rather than going to the park at the end of our street we went to one the kids love that's just over a half mile away so the kids could have a fun bike ride on the way to and from. I pushed Oliver in the stroller- something I haven't been able to do nearly as much this time around being more busy and occupied with the other kids. We packed a lunch and finally made it out the door...no easy task with three young children.

It was an absolutely idyllic park day. It was in the high 60's with a light breeze. It had been raining all week, so the sunshine warming our bodies felt restorative and invigorating. The sky was the clearest, most beautiful blue and there were just a handful of perfectly white clouds. The kids were thrilled to be playing outside after being cooped up for the last couple of weeks.

The kids climbed and played while Oliver napped in the stroller. They rode their bikes around and then we laid out our picnic lunch: turkey and cheese sandwiches, green grapes, fishy crackers, and juice, with homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies later for dessert.

We've been to the park hundreds of times together, but on Saturday all the stars aligned, and it felt uniquely great. Life's simple pleasures truly are the best. This adventure together, outside, moving our bodies in perfect weather, playing, enjoying nature, and eating good simple food just filled my soul. Everything about it was perfect, and we were all so happy.

(I know it's funny to admit, but I took this selfie because I felt so beautiful. I was just so happy, so filled with contentment, so fully and completely happy and in the moment. My hair was blowing in the wind, and I felt like my whole being was singing from the rooftops. When I looked at the picture, what I saw wasn't anything impressive, but I see it I can recall that feeling. Not something I want to forget!)

Down and Dreaming

Down with a cold over here and dreaming of these beautiful early days. It breaks my heart how fleeting they are, and that I'll probably only do it one more time.

How I Study My Scriptures

For a while now I have been meaning to share a little system I've developed to help me in my scripture study. Mostly it's in reference to the way I highlight my scriptures as I study, but I will include some other things I have found to be helpful as well.

I have had a pretty steady scripture reading habit since I was a little girl. I read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover when I was just 8 years old. I used to love to sit in my day bed at the end of the day, with just my lamp on, and read my scriptures and write in my journal. It was therapeutic and grounding to me, and in pure, childlike faith I gained a testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I've known the scriptures are true my whole life, and I have personally felt their strengthening power.

For me, my study is so much more meaningful when I feel like I'm having some interaction with the content I'm studying vs. just reading it. Highlighting verses that are significant or make a personal impact on me is great way to do this. I saw an idea for an itemized highlighting system like this on Pinterest a couple years ago, and have since made it my own. I shared it with a friend once and she has been using it and loves it. It is straightforward, easy to remember, and a helpful tool to use in study. This is how it works...

You'll use 5 different colors to highlight important verses. Each color has a certain meaning so when you refer back to the scriptures, it will be easy to decipher what any highlighted verse will be about. This is what I mean:

Red:
Red is used to show something you should STOP doing. Things that are wrong, something you want to avoid, warnings, etc. In this category falls the "wo unto" verses. ;)

Green:
As you might guess, green verses are things you SHOULD do. Commandments, good patterns, instruction, etc.

Yellow:
Verses about the Savior are marked in yellow because he is the light of the world. When a verse teaches about Jesus Christ and his power and work specifically- yellow is your color.

Blue:
Blessings. Blue verses show the Lord's generous hand- especially to the faithful. Promised blessings, fulfilled blessings. I've been surprised to see how many times I could and do use blue when studying my scriptures. A great reminder that the Lord's hand is bounteous, that he LOVES and desires to bless all of his children, and that if we are righteous we will prosper in the land. Blue can also include promises the Savior gives to us, for we know they will be fulfilled.

Purple:
Purple is for verses that explain doctrine, and also for verses that are interesting or poignant that don't fall into the other categories. Purple is important but is also kind of my catch-all for scriptures I want highlighted that don't have as specific a category.

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Highlighters:
The kind of highlighters I like to use are Crayola Twistable Crayons. They don't bleed through the thing pages, I love that they are adjustable, and I love that they aren't as bold as a marker or even a pencil. The color is there, but it's not overwhelming. I also use the edge of a bookmark to make the lines straight when I highlight.

Study Guides:
Over the last few months I have started using study guides in my study and it has made such a difference! I love having more of a focus and intent behind my study rather than just reading chronologically. I've learned more extensively about specific subjects, which I love, and find myself able to answer questions I hadn't thought of before. The Small Seed is a great resource. They provide monthly study guides that focus on different subjects. I love their guides because they reference specific scriptures, scripture stories, General Conference talks, and they have lots of great study questions and journal prompts to help you think deeply about what you're reading. I also have started using the Sunday School Class Member Study Guide as well as the Teachings of Presidents of the Church manual and am just thrilled that this year we're studying President Hinckley. I love him and his encouragement and positivity.

Consistency/ Prayer/ Time of Day:
The last tip I'll share is more for the intention of your study. Making scripture study a habit is so important and such a blessing. It's much easier if you have a certain time of day you study, so that it's just built in to your day- something that you do every single day because there is always a time for it. I have always studied at night before bed, because it's the pattern I started as a little girl, and it feels good to me to connect with my Father in Heaven as I close my day, but just recently I've begun waking up early to do it in the morning because I've felt prompted to, and I am sooooooo much fresher in the morning. I enjoy my study a lot more in the morning, which is a great blessing rather than feeling like I'm just "getting it done". I love starting the day all by myself when the house is quiet, learning at God's hand, and feeling like my day is on the right track with the Savior and His will being the priority.

   A couple months ago I heard Dallin H. Oaks speak and he said that you should always pray before you study your scriptures.  Just as we would ask for a blessing on the food before we physically feast, we need to ask for a blessing before we feast spiritually as well. I have started to pray much more often that I can "learn at the hand of the Lord". I ask Him to direct my study so I can learn things that are important, relevant, and useful in my life right now. Also, saying a prayer of gratitude for God's words and insights after they come enhances your study too.

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I know that studying, learning, understanding, and applying God's word changes our lives. There is direction, clarity, and comfort in the scriptures. Reading the scriptures is such a huge way that God communicates with us, and if we want to know Him and understand Him and His desires for us personally, we have to be in the scriptures. We live in a world of so much information, and so many of the words we hear each day are false, deceptive, contentious, and discouraging. "But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life." John 4:14