tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58493912750629431762024-03-12T16:56:36.997-07:00From HomeEllery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-90375379071446317142017-03-06T13:26:00.001-08:002017-03-06T13:32:50.711-08:00Where I'm Meant to BeI woke up today feeling blah. Just a few minutes into Monday morning and I already wanted the day to be over. I'm tired. I'm spent. I'm sick of cleaning up messes and feeling like the house is just getting dirtier. I don't want to organize the garage or scour the bathrooms- things I had on today's to-do list. I want to sit and hold my baby without nagging thoughts of what I should be doing. I should have exercised, I need to organize the mail, and the closets, I shouldn't have stayed up so late, I should have woken up early. I just don't have the energy for all of these shoulds and needs and wants.<br />
<br />
I've been concentrating on my divine worth in my scripture study lately. I've been focusing on my identity as a daughter of God and trying to limit the outside voices that press on me all day long. I know I am enough. I know I have worth, right now, exactly as I am. I know that a clean garage doesn't make me any more worthy or noble. But last night I went into my study wanting to know if I'm doing what I need and should and even want to be doing right now. What is this big huge entanglement that is my life right now? There is so much going on in spite of my efforts to minimize and simplify, and sometimes I just wonder why? Why am I doing this? Is this energy I'm outputting getting me anywhere? I felt touched when I read these words by President Russell M. Nelson,<br />
<br />
"Learn for yourselves who you really are. Ask your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ how He feels about you and your mission here on earth. If you ask with real intent, over time the Spirit will whisper the life-changing truths to you. Record those impressions, review them often, and follow through with exactness. I promise you that when you catch even a glimpse of how Heavenly Father sees you and what He is counting on you to do for Him, your life will never be the same!"<br />
<br />
As soon as I read those words I got on my knees. "Heavenly Father, that is what I want. That is what I <i>need</i> right now." I want to know what Heavenly Father thinks of me, because I know that to the ever-changing yardstick of the world I won't ever be enough. Somewhere I will always fall short. He knows who I am, and he knows who I can become. I need His help to get me there, and I need Him to tell me if I'm traveling in the right direction.<br />
<br />
Then last night I read my patriarchal blessing, and I remembered. Just like that the Spirit began to teach me about my mission on the earth. He reminded me that a primary reason I am here is to be a mother and have a family. He reminded me that even before I was married I would begin planning my family consistent with Heavenly Father's divine design for families. I am meant to be the nurturer of my family. That is my job right now. Right now I <i>am</i> doing what Heavenly Father is "counting on me to do for him". I remembered. Oh yes, I chose this. I chose this not just because it's what I wanted to do before I actually became a mother, I'm choosing this because it is what I was <i>made</i> to do. This is what I was designed for. And right now, I am in the trenches. Right in this brief period of life I am a mom, at home, in the grind. Day after day I make Nutella sandwiches, and nurse babies, I change diapers, and run baths, and drive to school and dance. And although it is draining and exhilarating and mundane all at the same time, I know it is where I am meant to be.<br />
<br />
So feeling heavy and burdened and just tired of doing the grind I turned to my scriptures this morning to read the comforting passage in D&C 10:4, "Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means...but be diligent to the end" and then my eyes drifted to the other side of the page and happened to see the words, "Do this thing which I have commanded you, and you shall prosper. Be faithful, and yield to no temptation. Stand fast in the work wherewith I have called you, and a hair of your head shall not be lost, and you shall be lifted up at the last day." (D&C 9:13-14) I cried. Chills covered my body and my burden felt light. It was in every sense of the word a direct message from the Lord to me.<br />
<br />
Those words, that were exactly where I didn't realize I was looking when I needed them were from the Lord to me. Today my job is to be a mother. He knows me. He is aware of me. He knows my talents and potential and the desires of my heart. He has called me to this work of motherhood and today and tomorrow I will stand fast here. I will do what he has commanded me, and I know he will prosper me. He already has, and I know he will continue to do so.<br />
<br />
I have dreams of one day writing a book, and having a voice that reaches far and wide to share the inspiration I have been blessed to receive. I want to be heard, not just by my little children and husband. I want to use and develop the gifts I have been given, and I hope they will be far reaching. Today, however, family is my far-reaching audience, and I will be faithful to that calling. I will "do this thing" which has been commanded of me and trust that my Father in Heaven knows my life's work and will lead me along as I accomplish each part of it.<br />
<br />
I know that each of us has a personal mission on the earth. We are all here to do good and there are so many ways to accomplish it. The Lord will teach us each individually what he wants us to do. I promise if you pray and ask, you can know how your Father in Heaven feels about you and He will open the way for you to accomplish what he wants you to do.<br />
<br />
<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-79977132249860045402017-02-01T22:56:00.003-08:002017-02-01T23:03:16.866-08:00Did I Bring Beauty Into the Lives of My Family Today?<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> "The sharing of beauty can never begin
too early, and the child who from his baby years has been helped to see beauty
"will love all that is beautiful, and hate all that is ugly, long before
he knows the reason why." -Annis Duff<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I came across this quote in my reading recently,
and it has rested in me. I have thought about it intentionally, and also let
the truthfulness of it linger and take root in my subconscious. I love it,
because I think it is true. In my short career of motherhood, I have seen the
recognition of true beauty in all three of my children from infancy on up, and
I want to harness that and encourage it. I want them to see and feel real
beauty, because I believe that when children are rooted in that real, true
beauty, that those memories and feelings will draw them back like a lighthouse
and anchor their souls to God and family and what is right and good in this
world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This beauty is manifested in love, and goodness,
and inspiration, and deep connectedness. It is evident in nature and friendship
and life. It is felt in a good book and heard in classical music. This is the
kind of beauty I want to expose my children to. I love that I have this
opportunity as a mother. In my home I get to set the tone of my little
universe, and every day I want it to be beautiful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A mother that I know and love has taught her
children to see this meaningful beauty. She has taught them to love music, and
a good homemade meal. She has shown them that learning and growth and effort
are deeply rewarding in and of themselves. She has shared good books, games,
and the value of an impromptu dance party. She has taught them about style and
decor, and how to use your own mind and hands to create things. These are the
kind of things I want to show my children. I want them to see what is truly
good in life. Things like: a good meal together at home, sunlight coming
through the windows, the ocean, poetry, deep belly laughing, morning and
evening walks, things made by hand, time with friends, classic movies, nature, holidays
and special occasions. I want our home to be the backdrop of all of these
things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Since having Oliver I've struggled with these deep
desires that I have, and the inability to execute all of it. For months I've
carried the weight of wanting to create beauty here in my home, and the brutal
reality that there is just so much I can't get to right now with my three young
children. Through prayer and God's grace I'm slowly learning to say,
"we'll get to that" or "let it go" or "that can
wait" and actually being OK with myself when I say them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've been praying for help to manage my time, for
help to know what things are actually important, and I told the Lord that I
want to bring beauty into the lives of my family each day. A couple mornings
ago I sat in my bed alone and I felt a quiet voice whisper to me that a smiling
face and kind, gentle words are beautiful every single day. In fact, this was
the single-most beautiful thing I could give to my children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I then saw myself in my mind's eye smiling at my
children and reaching out to them. I saw myself really looking at them when
they spoke and showing them in my actions what treasures they are. I saw myself
laughing with children at my feet. I saw us in our home that was lived in and
loved, with little messes around us. In my mind's eye, we were really <i>alive</i>.
We were living, and with a smiling face and a gentle, attentive heart, the
feelings of beauty were there regardless of the backdrop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I <i>can </i>create beauty for my children and
husband every day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, I will still want to set the table with fresh
flowers. Yes, I will use my hands to beautify my surroundings and make special
occasions out of every day events, but now I know that the truest, strongest
beauty will be felt and seen in the way I treat them, in the way I look at
them, and in the way I live. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-3912875942298696262017-01-25T21:09:00.001-08:002017-01-25T21:09:12.860-08:00My Goals for 2017This year I have a couple goals that I'm working toward. After a few weeks of January, this is what I've felt pulled and prompted to do: make more things with my hands/exercise creativity in my home, have people over to my home more, and LET GO of the way things look, and focus on being present. Love and genuine, thoughtful interaction is more important, more rewarding, more satisfying than making things look a certain way. If I continue to fall for the lie that things will be more gratifying when they look just right I'm going to miss out on the best things life has to offer...namely: sincere, meaningful relationships. I want to invite people over and not spend the whole day cleaning the house to prepare, because they don't care, and because actually <i>being</i> together with the people we love is what we really want and need, not a spotless house. I don't understand why this is such a hang up for me. So my goal is to be open armed. I want not only to share what I have by giving, but invite people into my home to share with me. I think my eyes are going to be opened to the absolute abundance of this beautiful life around me.<br />
"Let there be something of a light tone in your life. Let there be fun and happiness, a sense of humor, the capacity to laugh occasionally at things that are funny. In all of living have much of fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.<br />
Walk with faith, rejoicing in the beauties of nature, in the goodness of those you love, in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine." -Gordon B. Hinckley<br />
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<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-86799512291461731022017-01-25T20:37:00.001-08:002017-01-25T20:37:15.831-08:00Our Weekend in LALast weekend we went to LA with BJ because he had a work event and the company had gotten him a hotel room for a night. My favorite thing about staying in a hotel is that I, as the mom, can relax. When I'm sitting down or laying down I don't have visual reminders staring me in the face of what still "needs" to be done. (I'm working on figuring out what that "needs" actually means... aka really, truly being more <u>present</u>.) Also, I love having a change of scenery every once in a while. There's an automatic excitement when we go somewhere new, and it feels nice and refreshing to be excited about something.<br />
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Relaxing with Oliver on the bed<br />
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We left in the afternoon around one, and drove to LA through a crazy rain storm. We left poor Jovi at home in the backyard with only a chair under the patio cover to keep her dry. Her own little island amongst the rain. We got to the hotel and checked in, and hung out while BJ and his dad put on their tuxedos for the work event. I had never seen BJ in a tux before. He looked spectacular! I wish I could have been on his arm that night, but I wasn't invited!<br />
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I loved watching these boys get ready together. It was really a cute sight.<br />
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I took the kids to The Grove. I had wanted to take them to Griffith Park because it is somewhere we'd never been, but it had been pouring all day, it was going to be dark soon, and I didn't want to risk getting myself in a stressful or precarious situation with the three babies and no husband. I know The Grove fairly well, and knew we could do a little shopping and get dinner. It was only about 6 miles from the hotel. Ellie picked out a popcorn stand from the American Girl Doll Store. Lorenzo chose a set of miniature dinosaurs from Pottery Barn Kids. Then we ate at The Cheesecake Factory, watched the water show for a few minutes, and headed home. It went really pretty well at first, but got stressful and overwhelming at standing up! and Lorenzo wanted help eating and was crying about something, and things were unraveling fast.<br />
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We came back to the hotel and I let them play with their toys for a little while while I got Oliver down, then we did the routine for them, and around 9:30 I finally got to eat my dinner while watching You've Got Mail on my phone. I fell asleep around 10, and BJ got back to the hotel around 11.<br />
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The next day we got up and got ready, checked out of the hotel, and got breakfast at some blast from the past diner we stumbled upon, and then spent a few hours at the LA Zoo. It was such a great weekend together as a family doing some special things. Funny how 24 hours can wear you out!<br />
<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-4577976329310192842017-01-23T22:08:00.003-08:002017-01-23T22:50:08.354-08:00My Work as a MotherIt was a good, full day of homemaking and mothering. After a tip from a friend and my mother-in-law, I've decided to try doing all of the laundry just one day a week rather than a little bit every day or two. Today I stayed home and ran the washer and dryer from 7 am to 10 pm. The final load is still spinning in the dryer. I washed everyone's sheets, Oliver's blankets, and all of the dirty clothes and towels. In between loads I made the kids breakfast: hot chocolate and toast that I had promised them the night before. Read my scriptures, packed Ellie's lunch, talked to my mother in law, and got myself and the kids (except Lorenzo- he was in pajamas the entire day) ready for the day. We took Ellie to school and dropped Lorenzo off at a friend's to play. I folded laundry, called the doctor, made a Valentine's day bunting for the fire place, and vacuumed the upstairs. Picked up Lorenzo and brought a friend home with him to play. Snacks for the boys, more laundry, and lunch. Picked up toys, started pizza dough for dinner, and greeted Ellie and her friend home from school. Put clean sheets back on the bed, layed down for a couple minutes, talked to BJ, helped Ellie with sight words, ate dinner, had Family Home Evening, said family prayer, danced in the kitchen and ate ice cream bars, bathed the kids, brushed teeth (for Lorenzo's first time today), read Little House On the Prairie, put the kids down. Looked at my phone for a minute, folded clothes while watching Barefoot Contessa, cleaned up the kitchen while listening to Heaven Is Here, and put the house to bed. All throughout the day I held Oliver, fed Oliver, changed Oliver, made Oliver smile, and put him down for naps. I held Lorenzo when he had a hard moment and I hugged Ellie when her umbrella broke. Now I'm sitting in bed talking to BJ, listening to Oliver and Jovi sleeping, and feeling the best kind of tired. There is so much to do to run this house and keep this family healthy and happy and thriving. It is the best kind of work I've ever done. It is a work that is constant and steady and unrelenting, yet ennobling, important, and gratifying. I love the feeling I have of bringing something that is pure and good and holy into this world. That is the feeling I have when I am about my business as a mother. Sure it is exhausting, and daunting and never-ending, but being the safe place that my children and husband get to come home to is so satisfying. Today I came across this line: "In raising my children I have lost my mind and gained my soul." That is truth.<br />
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(Artwork by one of my favorite artists <a href="http://www.kershisnikprints.com/" target="_blank">Brian Kershisnik</a> )<br />
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<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-88026903184424961292017-01-17T22:21:00.001-08:002017-01-17T22:21:21.528-08:00Our Christmas This Year - 2016<br />
We spent our very first Christmas this year with just our little family. It was really neat, yet really different. It was so fun to be together, and feel such an intimacy with our little family. It was hard though pulling everything off ourselves. It was exhausting! And nothing looked the way I dreamed it would. I envisioned perfect decorations, a fancy, gorgeous meal, and plenty of perfect photo ops. Instead, our desperately-in-need-of-a-deep-clean house was partially decorated, our meals were semi-homemade, and beautiful photos just didn't happen. It was such a fun and memorable year though.<br />
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Two days before Christmas BJ gave me an early present that he and Aaron Tolman had made for me- something I've wanted for years. A swing for the tree in our front yard!! I am thrilled about it!<br />
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Then later that afternoon we sent Ellie and Lorenzo to the Anderson's house so we could set up the swing set we were giving them for the family gift this year.<br />
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(Running to Kyla's!) (Setting up the swing set was hilarious. BJ hated it- obviously...but was such a good sport about it and he grumbled and joked and we laughed our way through the whole thing.)<br />
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The next morning was Christmas Eve and we knew were going to be leaving to Utah on Christmas morning, so we let the kids see and play on the new swing set. It was a huge hit! They love it. Especially that glider.<br />
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Then we went to Romp-O-Rama, came home, and BJ's parents came over to visit. The kids played some more, and then I made dinner, we ate, opened Christmas pajamas, read Luke 2, and read the new Christmas Eve books the kids got (Crictor and Extra Yarn) and put the kids to bed together in Ellie's room.<br />
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(See what I mean about these photos? Definitely not what I was picturing in my head! :) )<br />
On Christmas morning we opened presents, had velvet crumb cake for breakfast, and then hurried and got ready for church and got packed. We went to a beautiful Christmas sacrament meeting. BJ spoke and did a great job, and afterward we ran home, put everything in the truck and jumped on the road for Utah!<br />
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Not the most glamorous Christmas day spending it on the road, but we were happy to be together, and when we drove into Utah at 11 pm, it was a winter wonderland! More than anything we felt full of love and gratitude for one another and our Savior.Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-51499385300328297932017-01-16T22:25:00.000-08:002017-01-16T22:25:21.252-08:00A Day at the ParkOn Saturday morning BJ was busy helping his brother move, so I decided to go on an outing with the kids to the park. Rather than going to the park at the end of our street we went to one the kids love that's just over a half mile away so the kids could have a fun bike ride on the way to and from. I pushed Oliver in the stroller- something I haven't been able to do nearly as much this time around being more busy and occupied with the other kids. We packed a lunch and finally made it out the door...no easy task with three young children.<br />
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It was an absolutely idyllic park day. It was in the high 60's with a light breeze. It had been raining all week, so the sunshine warming our bodies felt restorative and invigorating. The sky was the clearest, most beautiful blue and there were just a handful of perfectly white clouds. The kids were thrilled to be playing outside after being cooped up for the last couple of weeks.<br />
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The kids climbed and played while Oliver napped in the stroller. They rode their bikes around and then we laid out our picnic lunch: turkey and cheese sandwiches, green grapes, fishy crackers, and juice, with homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies later for dessert.<br />
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We've been to the park hundreds of times together, but on Saturday all the stars aligned, and it felt uniquely great. Life's simple pleasures truly are the best. This adventure together, outside, moving our bodies in perfect weather, playing, enjoying nature, and eating good simple food just filled my soul. Everything about it was perfect, and we were all so happy.<br />
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(I know it's funny to admit, but I took this selfie because I felt so beautiful. I was just so happy, so filled with contentment, so fully and completely happy and in the moment. My hair was blowing in the wind, and I felt like my whole being was singing from the rooftops. When I looked at the picture, what I saw wasn't anything impressive, but I see it I can recall that feeling. Not something I want to forget!)Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-9812387343310300442017-01-11T08:39:00.002-08:002017-01-11T08:39:45.570-08:00Down and DreamingDown with a cold over here and dreaming of these beautiful early days. It breaks my heart how fleeting they are, and that I'll probably only do it one more time.<br />
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<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-31736286935955478172017-01-09T21:10:00.002-08:002017-01-09T21:31:57.473-08:00How I Study My ScripturesFor a while now I have been meaning to share a little system I've developed to help me in my scripture study. Mostly it's in reference to the way I highlight my scriptures as I study, but I will include some other things I have found to be helpful as well.<br />
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I have had a pretty steady scripture reading habit since I was a little girl. I read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover when I was just 8 years old. I used to love to sit in my day bed at the end of the day, with just my lamp on, and read my scriptures and write in my journal. It was therapeutic and grounding to me, and in pure, childlike faith I gained a testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I've known the scriptures are true my whole life, and I have personally felt their strengthening power.<br />
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For me, my study is so much more meaningful when I feel like I'm having some interaction with the content I'm studying vs. just reading it. Highlighting verses that are significant or make a personal impact on me is great way to do this. I saw an idea for an itemized highlighting system like this on Pinterest a couple years ago, and have since made it my own. I shared it with a friend once and she has been using it and loves it. It is straightforward, easy to remember, and a helpful tool to use in study. This is how it works...<br />
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You'll use 5 different colors to highlight important verses. Each color has a certain meaning so when you refer back to the scriptures, it will be easy to decipher what any highlighted verse will be about. This is what I mean:<br />
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<b><u><span style="color: #cc0000;">Red:</span></u></b><br />
Red is used to show something you should STOP doing. Things that are wrong, something you want to avoid, warnings, etc. In this category falls the "wo unto" verses. ;)<br />
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<b><u><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Green:</span></u></b><br />
As you might guess, green verses are things you SHOULD do. Commandments, good patterns, instruction, etc.<br />
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<b><u><span style="background-color: white; color: yellow;">Yellow:</span></u></b><br />
Verses about the Savior are marked in yellow because he is the light of the world. When a verse teaches about Jesus Christ and his power and work specifically- yellow is your color.<br />
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<b><u><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Blue:</span></u></b><br />
Blessings. Blue verses show the Lord's generous hand- especially to the faithful. Promised blessings, fulfilled blessings. I've been surprised to see how many times I could and do use blue when studying my scriptures. A great reminder that the Lord's hand is bounteous, that he LOVES and desires to bless all of his children, and that if we are righteous we will prosper in the land. Blue can also include promises the Savior gives to us, for we know they will be fulfilled.<br />
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<b><u><span style="color: #674ea7;">Purple:</span></u></b><br />
Purple is for verses that explain doctrine, and also for verses that are interesting or poignant that don't fall into the other categories. Purple is important but is also kind of my catch-all for scriptures I want highlighted that don't have as specific a category.<br />
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<b><u>Highlighters</u></b>:<br />
The kind of highlighters I like to use are <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Crayola-52-7408-Twistables-Crayons/dp/B00178Q28S/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1483888181&sr=8-6&keywords=crayola+twistable+crayons" target="_blank">Crayola Twistable Crayons</a>. They don't bleed through the thing pages, I love that they are adjustable, and I love that they aren't as bold as a marker or even a pencil. The color is there, but it's not overwhelming. I also use the edge of a bookmark to make the lines straight when I highlight.<br />
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<b><u>Study Guides</u></b>:<br />
Over the last few months I have started using study guides in my study and it has made such a difference! I love having more of a focus and intent behind my study rather than just reading chronologically. I've learned more extensively about specific subjects, which I love, and find myself able to answer questions I hadn't thought of before. <a href="http://thesmallseed.com/tag/scripture-study/" target="_blank">The Small Seed</a> is a great resource. They provide monthly study guides that focus on different subjects. I love their guides because they reference specific scriptures, scripture stories, General Conference talks, and they have lots of great study questions and journal prompts to help you think deeply about what you're reading. I also have started using the <a href="https://www.lds.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-church-history-class-member-study-guide?lang=eng" target="_blank">Sunday School Class Member Study Guide</a> as well as the <a href="https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-gordon-b-hinckley?lang=eng" target="_blank">Teachings of Presidents of the Church</a> manual and am just thrilled that this year we're studying President Hinckley. I love him and his encouragement and positivity.<br />
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<b><u>Consistency/ Prayer/ Time of Day</u></b>:<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">The last tip I'll share is more for the intention
of your study. Making scripture study a habit is so important and such a
blessing. It's much easier if you have a certain time of day you study, so that
it's just built in to your day- something that you do every single day because
there is always a time for it. I have always studied at night before bed,
because it's the pattern I started as a little girl, and it feels good to me to
connect with my Father in Heaven as I close my day, but just recently I've
begun waking up early to do it in the morning because I've felt prompted to,
and I am sooooooo much fresher in the morning. I </span><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">enjoy</i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> my study a lot
more in the morning, which is a great blessing rather than feeling like I'm
just "getting it done". I love starting the day all by myself when
the house is quiet, learning at God's hand, and feeling like my day is on the
right track with the Savior and His will being the priority.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> A couple months ago I heard Dallin H.
Oaks speak and he said that you should always pray before you study your
scriptures. Just as we would ask for a blessing on the food before we
physically feast, we need to ask for a blessing before we feast spiritually as
well. I have started to pray much more often that I can "learn at the hand
of the Lord". I ask Him to direct my study so I can learn things that are
important, relevant, and useful in my life right now. Also, saying a prayer of
gratitude for God's words and insights after they come enhances your study too.</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know that studying, learning, understanding, and applying God's word
changes our lives. There is direction, clarity, and comfort in the scriptures.
Reading the scriptures is such a huge way that God communicates with us, and if
we want to know Him and understand Him and His desires for us personally, we
have to be in the scriptures. We live in a world of so much information, and so
many of the words we hear each day are false, deceptive, contentious, and
discouraging. "But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him
shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well
of water springing up into everlasting life." John 4:14</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-85637952855877552032017-01-07T05:35:00.004-08:002017-01-07T05:35:49.156-08:00Tired and Happy So far, my experience with having 3 children is this: I am really, really, happy, content, and grateful. And I am really, really, tired, scatter brained, frazzled, and tired again. I have seriously never known exhaustion like this. I have been tired for two and a half months now, and each day just compounds on top of the last. I hit a wall in the evenings like I've never felt before. I will literally start to get dizzy and not be able to focus my eyes well because I'm so tired. Then, as luck would have it, when I finally lay down, I often can't sleep cause I've got that ticking list of things I need to do, things I've forgotten or nearly forgotten, and things that I <i>should</i> be doing. Mentally and physically I am TIRED, but I feel emotionally and spiritually filled up and that it what is sustaining me right now. In my experience, suffering emotionally and spiritually is the most taxing thing for me, and not something that's easy or enjoyable to trudge through. It can be hard to stay hopeful when your emotions are out of whack. For now, I'm really happy, and <i>really</i> tired.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfi_8C4NA-NkzIl8g7nFdZizpuFIzZO0zI0yuT4cJAS7l4VvgU5W69CsTUjnZmKIpyUkA9dAf8tplQqnZSs2XIQTSnt6eDnGVMIWxkXtF3zd8adxjoTVPEItNbHZHrVKUwZ_UkLqH_w9U/s1600/IMG_1581.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfi_8C4NA-NkzIl8g7nFdZizpuFIzZO0zI0yuT4cJAS7l4VvgU5W69CsTUjnZmKIpyUkA9dAf8tplQqnZSs2XIQTSnt6eDnGVMIWxkXtF3zd8adxjoTVPEItNbHZHrVKUwZ_UkLqH_w9U/s1600/IMG_1581.JPG" /></a></div>
This was taken yesterday just after I had had my IUD inserted. Oliver and I ran to Anthropologie at the Spectrum to make a few returns and buy a new planner for 2017 to get my life together! Love that ferris wheel where it all started. Just fine with the fact that my face is blurred out- my blood-shot eyes and air dried hair....proof that I'm a tired and haggard mom of 3... but I'm happy!Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-59136606587185236482016-12-23T07:05:00.000-08:002016-12-23T12:03:22.551-08:002015 in Review: Part 1I started blogging in 2010- right at the beginning of my pregnancy with Ellie. I loved it right away, and blogged consistently for about a year and a half. Then my laptop broke. And then my camera got stolen, and over the years even though I have wanted to blog all along, I have been pitifully inconsistent. So as the year comes to a close and my thoughts are reflective, I want to do a little recap of the last few years for my memory keeping's sake. Here is a brief run-down of our 2015:<br />
<br />
<b>January:</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg39ev4tpwYGZla3wuPaz_-82dEpQ39cWSwbSI2Zkrj_NpCH7tBS3BlC0Nb_T5bcGKCX9mBF1UgkI9e20sTfCfi0s4QiYM-nXviEzT_7_61O1yO_lX_oDW7G5fAO9jFT5vdZvEo3PgjIWI/s1600/unspecified-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg39ev4tpwYGZla3wuPaz_-82dEpQ39cWSwbSI2Zkrj_NpCH7tBS3BlC0Nb_T5bcGKCX9mBF1UgkI9e20sTfCfi0s4QiYM-nXviEzT_7_61O1yO_lX_oDW7G5fAO9jFT5vdZvEo3PgjIWI/s1600/unspecified-1.jpeg" /></a></div>
Rang in the New Year with my family at my sister Katie's house. I was delighted when Lorenzo fell asleep on me.<br />
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Designated our family theme for the year, and had a little feast along with it. (In our pajamas). I can't remember what the theme was for this year. Ha!<br />
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<br />
Went to Las Vegas with BJ for soccer. Ellie thought it was the most beautiful place she'd ever seen. :) The kids loved the thrill of staying in a hotel. BJ rode in a limo with his soccer girls.<br />
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Took Ellie to LA with me for Rebbie Groesbeck's wedding. She loved the one on one time and the dancing!<br />
<br />
<b>February:</b><br />
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Kept doing Strands stuff- and Megan ready to deliver baby Winnie!<br />
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After meeting her a few months previously, Nicole Thompson and I started hanging out and connected instantly. She then introduced me to so many new friends. 2015 was the year of friends for me, and Corona officially felt like home then.<br />
<br />
<b>March:</b><br />
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Jess, Dustin, and the two younger Rogers girls came to visit during Tana and Kenne's cheer competition. I LOVE when my family visits!<br />
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Had to include this picture of Jenny because she is just such a dear friend that I spent a lot of time with this year! (Not specific to March).<br />
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Easter! ...was actually horrible this year, but the kids looked adorable!<br />
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We travel to Lancaster with BJ for a soccer tournament and Lorenzo falls and splits his head open in the hotel room, goes to the Emergency Room, and gets 7 stitches.<br />
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BJ and I get to take photos with Amelia Lyon and these are two of my favorites from the shoot.<br />
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We go to Utah for a visit and get to tour the breathtaking new Payson Temple.<br />
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<b>May:</b><br />
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While visiting in Utah, we went to the carnival at Edgemont Elementary. The kids rode this train, Ellie rode a horse, and won a fish that made it all the way back in a cup of water from Utah to California.<br />
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We cheer Nashy on in one of his games! Lorenzo is enamored.<br />
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We watch Carter for a couple days after Dani Bree had Naomi.<br />
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Ellie learns to "rollerskate". I really need the laughing/crying emoji here!Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-71821026240046774152016-12-19T06:35:00.001-08:002016-12-19T06:35:08.523-08:00My GrandmaLast night I stood at my kitchen sink deseeding a pomegranate into a warm bowl of water. Deep purply-red juice stained the water, the counter, the knife, and my hands. As I felt the familiar popping release of the seeds loosening from the outer shell, my thoughts drifted to my grandma Arlene- my dad's mom. I still remember the day when I was 6 years old that she came to my parent's house with pomegranates. I had never seen one before. She brought me from the backyard into the kitchen so she could show me what a pomegranate looked like, felt like, smelled like, tasted like, and how it worked. The beautiful, exotic fruit fascinated me. She shared it all with me.<br />
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I remember that when my parents were building their home we lived with her for several months. I remember the time that I got sick at school, and she was the one to come and pick me up. When we got home she lovingly took me to the little room next to her bedroom where she watched tv. There was a sofa, and a recliner in there. She laid me down on the sofa with a blanket, felt my forehead with her soft, warm hand, and went to the kitchen to make me something to eat.<br />
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I remember her half apron she almost always wore around her waist. I remember her feeding my friend and me animal crackers with frosting after we had hiked to her house, and how that seemed like the most decadent treat in the world. I remember standing with her in her backyard garden, picking pear shaped miniature tomatoes that were orange, yellow, and red and warmed from the sun. I don't think I've since eaten a tomato that tasted so good to me.<br />
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My grandmother was warm and soft. She had hard candy and kleenexes in her purse. Always. She wore long shorts with a t-shirt tucked in and Keds. She wore pink lipstick, and her hair was perfectly white.<br />
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I miss my grandma. I miss the feeling of being the little girl cuddled up into her side. I miss her comfort and constancy. I miss going to her home for Sunday dinner. I miss riding in the back of my parent's van with her by my side. I miss visiting her home and seeing dahlia's the size of my head in her hanging flower pots on the front porch.<br />
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My grandma showed me the beauty of being a woman. She taught me that when you're a woman you can be gentle and strong all at the same time. She taught me that taking care of your family is the most special task that will ever be required of you. She taught me that you take good care of yourself so you can take good care of others. She showed me that you'll never be more beautiful than when you are truly you. She taught me that giving your time to others is the way you give your love to them.<br />
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I miss my grandma, and I so desperately hope that I can one day make a little child feel as special and whole as my grandma made me feel.<br />
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<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-62958061245857770012016-12-16T06:47:00.001-08:002016-12-16T06:47:10.475-08:00To My Oliver TaftMy precious baby Oliver,<br />
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You lay next to me as I type this. It's early in the morning, not even light outside, and its raining. We are cozied up together, both wrapped up in blankets, just like you love to be. My goodness my beautiful baby boy, it is hard to put into words all the feelings I have for you. You have blessed our family with your coming. You are adored by all around you: me, daddy, your brother and sister, aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, friends. We all adore you.<br />
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You are a beautiful baby. I truly haven't seen many babies with a face as perfect as yours. But your mild manner is what is so heartwarming and unique. You have a gentle, peaceful soul that is noticeable to anyone that spends time with you. I know it sounds funny with you being so tiny still (you are 8 and a half weeks today), but you have this quiet strength about you. You have a maturity and understanding in your eyes that makes me so excited to watch you grow and to see the path you'll walk in this life.<br />
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You are precious, Oliver Taft. Thank you for coming to our family. Thank you for the peace and light you bring with you. We are so blessed to have you.<br />
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<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-60746189626311618032016-12-14T07:13:00.003-08:002016-12-14T07:22:35.600-08:00Christmas VisionsHaving a baby around the holidays is a beautiful thing. This time of year filled with celebration and gathering is magical in and of itself, but when you add a fresh baby into that equation, it's almost more than the heart can bear! I've been so excited that this is the first year we will have Christmas in our very own home, with (just) our family of five. Naturally, with that excitement and anticipation, come daydreams and visions of what I hope this first milestone will look like for us. I can picture our children eagerly waiting at the top of the stairs and hurriedly making their way down on Christmas morning. I think of them going to bed together on Christmas Eve, practically shaking with excitement. I can see a beautiful spread on the table of a dinner that is beautiful, nourishing, and delicious- and followed the next morning by a breakfast of sweet velvet crumb cake, fresh berries and orange juice, and a hearty and savory vegetable and egg hash. I've already posed a cozy group shot of all of us cuddled together on Christmas Eve in our pajamas. I can see it all, and in my mind's eye, it all looks perfect.<br />
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As Christmas has drawn closer over the last week or so, a natural let-down has occurred. The handmade wreaths made with local greenery I was dreaming about have not been made. The pine-cone swag I was hoping to hang on the door hasn't been assembled. Christmas cards need sending, there are still presents that need to be purchased, made, wrapped, and delivered. And the three adorable children included in all of these fantasies have actual real-life needs that sometimes (most of the time) aren't in line with the time and energy it would take to create all of these scenes.<br />
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As silly as it sounds, this year I was really hoping I could have both. I wanted the warm fuzzy feelings of togetherness, <i>as well as</i> the perfect picture- the outward beauty emanating from the handmade decorations, the sparkling clean house, and the dazzling bowed-up packages and made-from-scratch food. But yesterday I had a thought who's truth resonated in my head. "It doesn't matter what it looks like. It matters what it feels like". I already blogged about the rough evening we had on Monday, and how we had to cancel having friends over for hot chocolate because the kids were so dang tired. In the middle of that evening, once we succumbed to not having friends over, we all sat on the couch and just sat. It was the first moment in the day that everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. No one was hurried or distracted, we were just together. The togetherness is really what we crave, I think. The togetherness is what our souls actually need. Of course the lights, and the decorations, and the homemade food don't hurt, but they're not the most important part.<br />
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I think I'd be wise this week before Christmas to create a new vision. The new vision would be one where the mom pauses, stops even, to laugh and play and share with her children. This vision would know that the mom doesn't, shouldn't and can't "do it all". It would inevitably include a house that isn't <i>that </i>clean, and food that's on the table whether or not its homemade. The new vision would focus more on looking <i>into</i> someone's eyes than looking <i>at </i>a pretty decoration. The new vision would look hard at the two precious children, and the one teeny tiny, perfect baby that she has, and realize that the magic of the vision is in them, because they see magic around them regardless of what things look like.<br />
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Do you guys struggle with this too? I don't know why I'm such a slow learner in this regard. Can you relate to these feelings, or does embracing the messy come a little more easily to you?<br />
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Thanks for stopping by. xoxoEllery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-79133433616883798492016-12-13T06:37:00.000-08:002016-12-14T06:17:01.786-08:00Who I'm Running ForYesterday I felt frazzled. Like, the whole day I felt frazzled. I was in motion, only stopping to pause when Lorenzo needed to be put down for a nap, but the rest of the time, I was moving. I could feel the list of Christmas to do's pressing in on me, and I saw dishes to wash, laundry to do, a filthy, unorganized garage that's driving me out of my mind, and closets that need to badly to be organized. I was the metaphorical hamster in the wheel. Running and running, but not getting anywhere.<br />
Amidst all this running and moving, and exhausting action, I hardly took a second to check in with my kids. It didn't feel like there was time to look them in the eye, let alone sit down and talk or play them. By the afternoon Ellie was starting to unravel. I wanted to unravel, but we had plans for friends to come over for hot chocolate and Christmas singing in the evening and I still had dinner to make, a trip to the grocery store to accomplish, and a house that at a minimum needed picking up. Ellie needed me, but I didn't have time to listen. I didn't have time to pause. After loads of tears, 3 ineffective time outs, a headache and short tempers, I finally decided to text my friends to tell them we'd have to get together another time. Ellie was upset about it at first, but then I finally sat down on the couch to pause. Our burnt dinner could wait. The dirty house could wait. I could breathe, and Ellie could finally have the attention she needed. BJ tickled her back and cuddled with her, and eventually she fell asleep on the couch. We ate a calm, relaxed dinner together at the table (I hadn't realized Ellie was starving. She hadn't eaten since lunch at school.) I let the kids have the hot chocolate we had made to share with friends. Then we got in pajamas and watched an episode of Fixer Upper together. (Our new favorite.) I put Ellie to bed by herself, and then Lorenzo. BJ sealed and stamped all our Christmas cards while I cleaned up the kitchen, and we went to bed early.<br />
It's hard when we have demands on our time and we find ourself in the struggle of so many good options to decide between, and only 24 hours in a day to figure out which ones need our priority. Yesterday wasn't fun feeling torn and frazzled, but it taught me that even at Christmas time, sometimes the better option is to simplify. What we all really need is connection. Sincere, honest, simple time to connect. So often, we need time to slow down. I made a list last night before bed of the things that absolutely need to be done this week. Those are the things I will spend my time in motion for. Things like my filthy garage and my unorganized closets will have to wait, because one thing on that list is time to actually be with these people that I'm doing all the running for.<br />
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Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-22903681698327236342016-12-09T07:06:00.000-08:002016-12-09T07:09:02.290-08:00Book ReviewI wanted to share with you three books that I read this year that really made an impact on me. They were captivating reads for me, and ones that challenged and stretched my way of thinking- a characteristic mark of a truly good book.<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I mentioned this book in yesterday's post. I read this book at the beginning of the year when I was so sick in the early days of my pregnancy. It was the thing that helped me realize that if I could stay mentally stimulated or engaged in something it would improve my quality of living and attitude, as I was mostly just getting through the days at that point. Gilbert speaks of the creative process as a living, breathing thing that we must listen to, engage with, and honor. She speaks of artists, and creatives- something I consider myself to be- and how they can literally engage in a (metaphorical) dance with their inspiration. She speaks of the way ideas come to us and how we can honor them by working our butts off to help them come up. It reminds me of an artist I love, Brian Kershisnik and what he said of his work, "<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I firmly believe that when a painting succeeds, I have not created it, but rather participated in it." Or how Michelangelo famously said, "</span><span style="background-color: white;"> Every </span>block<span style="background-color: white;"> of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it. I saw the angel in the </span>marble<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="background-color: white;">and carved until I set him free." </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">I would really recommend this book to anyone. I think it presents a really unique concept in a way that is convincing and powerful. It is illuminating, and Elizabeth Gilbert's energy, conviction, and humor are contagious.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Joelle </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl. To date, this is hands down my favorite parenting book I've read. Contrary to other cross-culture parenting books, these authors don't make a mockery of American Parenting. Instead, an American woman married to a Dane, along with a Danish psychologist wrote this book about the natural culture and ways of parents in Denmark after years of observation. The book uses the acronym, "PARENT" to pinpoint the 6 key elements of Danish parenting, which are,</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">P- Play</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A- Authenticity</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">R- Reframing</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">E- Empathy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">N- No Ultimatums</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">T- Togetherness</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was attracted to this book when I heard that it focused on empathy and how to instill this oft-forgotten characteristic in your children. After reading it, I discovered that all 6 of the elements they outline are powerful in raising children. Something that is unique about this parenting book is that it is not at all condemning. It clearly and quickly lays out each concept, and doesn't spend time pointing out all the ways you're doing each one wrong. It doesn't make you feel guilty for the way you're currently doing things, but instead makes you think, "Oh wow. That makes a lot of sense. I want to try that." I also love this book, because I feel like the principles it teaches are in line with the way Jesus Christ treated others. This book teaches you how to honor children in the way you think and interact with them, and illustrates how to nurture them in a way that will really help them feel understood, safe, and content. This book is a quick read, and it doesn't read like a textbook. I have this book in physical, digital, and audio form because it is a great reference guide that I turn to often.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The third book I recently listened to was "The Magnolia Story" by Chip and Joanna Gaines. I've watched a handful of Fixer Upper episodes and have enjoyed Chip and Joanna and their antics together, and I was just curious about this book. I never expected to be so inspired by it. It was so enjoyable to listen to that I finished the five hour book in about two and a half days. I took away a lot of lessons from it, including: staying close to God, cleaving to your spouse, dreaming big, listening to inspiration, putting family first, enjoying the journey even when its not going well, not sweating the small stuff, trying to be a good person, and finding the path that's meant for you. Chip and Joanna have a way of living this really beautiful, authentic life that is centered on what is good and right, and they don't make you feel jealous or like your life isn't good enough. I really can't recommend this book enough. I'm hoping to listen to it with BJ on our drive to Utah at Christmastime now that he's finally conceded to watching a few episodes of Fixer Upper with me. (He totally enjoys it.) This book shows how God prepares those who follow Him to have a voice and share their story in a way that will lift and inspire others. Chip and Joanna do this in such a pure way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">The books coming up next for me are, "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine N. Aron, and "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown.I love the power of a good book.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">What have you read lately that you love? Any recommendations? I'd love to hear!</span></span>Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-24151213556297583272016-12-08T06:50:00.000-08:002016-12-08T06:50:08.273-08:00On Finding InspirationI recently came across this quote that spoke to my soul:<br />
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"One of the marks of a godly woman is that she takes responsibility for her soul's need for joy and delight. A woman is a conductor, who leads the orchestra of her surroundings in the songs and music of her life. God is a God of creativity and dimension, and so He is pleased when we co-create beauty in our own realm, through the power of His Spirit." -Sally Clarkson<br />
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The part of this that really jumps out and grabs me is "a godly woman takes responsibility for her soul's need for joy and delight." I whole heartedly agree with this.<br />
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When I was pregnant with Oliver this year I was set back physically. The first trimester I was sicker than I had ever been on a continual basis. I felt crummy around the clock, day after day. I had never experienced this before, so I never understood how taxing chronic sickness is on your mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. Later on in my second and third trimesters I didn't feel as sick, but I definitely wasn't my usual self. My energy was limited. My strength was weakened. I had aches and ailments and discomforts every single day.<br />
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At some point during my first trimester I discovered something that I tried to apply throughout the rest of the pregnancy. By reference I began reading a book entitled, "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It inspired me. It was thought provoking and interesting, and stimulating for my mind and soul. I couldn't believe how good this inspiration felt. I had found myself unmotivated in many ways, because the little positive energy I had I was trying so hard to channel toward my children. I wasn't motivated to seek spiritual experiences through studying because at the end of the day I just felt done. Keeping up with life seemed to be just about all I could manage at that point, so when Big Magic came around and my spirit and mind were truly fascinated by something again, it just felt so good. I clung on to this little bit of new found wisdom. I realized that while my life couldn't be my regular or old life for a time, that if I could just find something little, something manageable every single day that spoke to me, or stirred, or was enlightening to me, that would be the endorphin kick I needed to feel like myself. I couldn't believe the staying power that just little bits of inspiration gave me.<br />
So I'd take little walks, or read something motivating, or just try to pay greater attention to what I was doing and search for beauty in the mundane moments.<br />
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Painting I love by Brian Kershisnik entitled, "She Will Find What Was Lost"<br />
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So now that I'm not pregnant (hallelujah), and now that my physical health is returning and I feel like myself again, I'm finding other sources of inspiration. I recently listened to "The Magnolia Story" by Chip and Joanna Gaines. I downloaded the audiobook on Monday, and finished it last night while I was cleaning up the kitchen. You guys, it was gold. It was a ticket in the fast lane to the land of inspiration. I cannot possibly recommend this book enough to you. I'm also feeling jazzed about my new Audible subscription. I told BJ that I wanted this for one of my Christmas presents, and then went ahead and signed myself up yesterday cause I just don't want to wait! Why did I not do this sooner?! Audio books and podcasts are the best, you guys! I love that I finished this amazing book in three days. It's so nice to listen to while cleaning, or driving, or exercising. I am seriously thrilled about all the books I'll be able to "read" that I would have never found or made the time to <i>actually</i> read.<br />
Identifying ways that you're inspired is one way you can "take responsibility for your soul's need for joy and delight". What are ways you find inspiration? What have you found that brings your soul joy and delight? I'd love to hear. Here are some of mine:<br />
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-going on walks<br />
-writing in my journal or blogging<br />
-reading/listening to a good book or poetry<br />
-looking at inspiring art (I've been googling different artists lately and looking at their works on my phone, and I love it. I screen shot the ones I really love and use them as my screensaver.)<br />
-spending time at the beach<br />
-exercising<br />
-gardening<br />
-waking up early and having quiet time to myself<br />
-doing something creative with my hands, like rearranging my decor or cooking<br />
-having a good quality scripture study with prayer, my journal, scriptures, and talks<br />
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(I took this picture while I was pregnant and feeling terrible. We were waiting for a friend to swing something by, and the kids were playing in the front yard. I sat on the front porch and watched them, and it was such a tender and beautiful moment for me in its simplicity.)<br />
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I hope you can find ways to feel inspired in your life on a regular basis. Hugs.Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-34787700747339634452016-06-25T08:40:00.003-07:002016-06-25T08:40:45.708-07:00I Wish We Could Do This All the Time We have my niece and nephew staying with us this weekend, so we've got Ellie- 5, Carter- 3, Lorenzo- 2 (almost 3), and Naomi- 1. Yesterday after the three younger kids woke up from their naps, the boys were playing downstairs, and Ellie, Naomi and I were sitting on the floor in my room. Naomi was cuddled into my side, and Ellie sat across from us. We chatted about what Ellie did while everyone else was sleeping, played peek-a-boo and patty cake with Naomi, and just hung out and talked. After a while of sitting there Ellie said, "I wish we could do this all the time". <br />
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Since we weren't doing much, I think the "this" Ellie was referring to was the good feeling of just <i>being</i> together. We were there, paying attention to each other, and enjoying the company. Maybe it felt special because it was all girls, and Ellie is a girl's girl. Her observation of the feeling there was something tender to me. It is something rare these days to have time together with people you love and to really do nothing but be together. Those times of stillness often seem to prompt us to reach for our phone or to at least say or think, "Ok, now what do we <i>do?"</i> We're so often looking to be entertained. I loved Ellie's connection to that moment, and it makes me as her mother want to create more moments like that for her and my family.<br />
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Last night after getting all four kids in bed, BJ and I each took a blanket and a glass of ice water outside and sat and talked while James Bay radio played quietly in the background. It was another one of those togetherness moments. It's so easy to be together without really being together. Here's to trying my (our) best to have moments each day that include nothing but being with the people we love.<br />
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I love you tremendously, Ellie Layne. I'm glad your heart is sensitive to the things in life that are truly good and doing.Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-76685833844106902712016-06-22T16:32:00.001-07:002016-06-22T16:32:51.794-07:00Appearing Better Than We Are<span style="font-size: x-small;"> I wrote this post months ago in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep and my mind was whirling. I've debated whether or not to post it, because as months and months have past it hasn't been as relevant to me. But here it is, because maybe someone else will find some relevancy within it.</span><br />
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I had a conversation with my brother in law a few months ago, and while we were talking he used a phrase about people trying to appear "appear better than they are". At the time and still, that phrase makes me think. Do I try to appear better than I really am? Do you? What do you think when you hear that phrase?<br />
Obviously there are people that <i>really </i>try to appear better than they are. People that live a lifestyle way beyond their financial means, people that buy clothes wear them and return them so they can always be wearing something new and nice, narcissistic people, etc. But my brother in law wasn't talking about those kind of people, or at least I don't think he was. He was talking about good people that try to act like perfect people.<br />
I think of myself as an honest person. I'm pretty much an open book as far as my feelings and experiences go, but I also put on a happy face during my hard days and like to at least appear that I have most of my life together even on the days it doesn't feel like it. "Appearing better than they are" stuck with me, because I believe that I fall into that category in at least some ways, and I'm interested to toss this idea out there and see if you do too.<br />
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At the root of everything for me at this point in my life if the way I was raised. I just cannot disconnect the years of training and teaching that I received in my home from my parents from who I am and how I view the world. Along those lines, my parents instilled 3 principles in their children that I think relates to this topic. I never thought of them as negative attributes, but in context of appearing better than we are, I've been made to stop and think.<br />
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First principle: Put on a happy face. My dad lived and lives this principle every day to a T. He is the most happy, optimistic person I know. He laughs through difficulty, shakes his head and smiles when he's frustrated, and is the world's eternal enthusiast. "You can do it- I have no doubt in my mind that you can do it. Things are going to work out. You're going to do great. They'll be fine. He'll figure it out. Isn't this the best. Could things get any better?" are common dad phrases. My mom also was a big advocate of the notion that no one wants to be around someone that is grumpy or complaining. Bad attitudes were generally not tolerated in our house. As a mother myself, I see great value in this. Have you ever tried hanging out with a grumpy toddler all day? I will advocate the case for the happy smiler all. day. long.<br />
2. By example, my mother taught me that in general, we keep our problems to ourselves. Other people don't want to hear about our problems, and we're the ones that have the responsibility to deal with or fix them anyway. Enter dad saying, "You can do this. We'll get through this. Everything's going to be ok." We dealt with it, and it was ok.<br />
3. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Peacefulness in relationships was an overarching theme in our home. My mom did not tolerate contention and fighting between siblings. Mom and dad never argued or fought in front of us. We all learned how to keep the peace and are still very good at biting our tongue and shrugging things off. Assume the best and don't hold a grudge.<br />
These are all really wonderful, and important principles. As a mom I am trying to implement these concepts in our family because they are all sound skills and attitudes that will help set my children up for ultimate success in life and relationships. Sometimes, however, these ideals can be taken too far.<br />
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For example, who of your friends and family would you describe as "real"? In my eyes, that person is someone that assuredly does not have their stuff together all the time (not that any of us really do), and they don't care to pretend they do. They can be somewhat of a mess, and they'll show you that, but they are so uniquely genuine and themselves that it is absolutely refreshing to be around them. They are not happy all the time, and they don't act like they are. Sometimes they are frazzled and a little bit crazy but they simply are themselves, all the time. Do you know someone who lives like this? Do you live like this? I can't imagine living like this! It terrifies me, and liberates me just to think of it! This is where I definitely "appear better than I am". The weight of feeling like we should or have to be happy all the time can be exhausting and really just isn't doable. We can think about the idea of wholeness here, and how a healthy person is someone that is well rounded. It's ok and expected that we experience a vast range of emotions throughout any given time. We need to cry, and we will feel anger and frustration. That's all fine. I would argue that it's even better when we can experience those feelings, and still maintain a disposition that isn't going to be destructive, frightening, or downright annoying to the people around us. Especially as a parent. Having a dad that smiled and laughed through it all may be one of the greatest sources of peace and contentment I could have been given as a child. If dad was still smiling, I felt that everything really would be ok.<br />
This thought from the wonderful book <i>Big Magic </i>by Elizabeth Gilbert feels applicable here.<br />
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<i>I remember thinking that learning how to endure your disappointment and frustration is the part of job of a creative person. If you want to be an artist of any sort, it seemed to me, then handling your frustration is a fundamental aspect of the work- perhaps the single most fundamental aspect of the work. Frustration is not an interruption of your process; frustration is the process. The fun part (the part where it doesn't feel like work at all) is when you're actually creating something wonderful, and everything's going great, and everyone loves it and you're flying high. But such instants are rare. You don't just get to leap from bright moment to bright moment. How you manage yourself between those bright moments, when things aren't going so great, is a measure of how devoted you are to your vocation, and how equipped you are for the weird demands of creative living. Holding yourself together through all the phases of creation is where the real work lies.</i><br />
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Isn't that powerful? While she is talking to artists in a creative process her words resonate with people living life just as well.<br />
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On keeping your problems to yourself- what do you think about this? Do you think that's good, bad, commendable, or not? Like my mom, I know that we are responsible to take care of ourselves and our families, and I believe that we have been skills to handle this and prayer to handle this. Obviously we often times need help and support, but if you can think of a handful of toughies you know- it truly is amazing what one single person is able to manage when they put their head down, say a prayer, and trudge forward. I think that naturally some of us are sharers and some of us are not. I also believe that some of us are feelers and some of us are not. My mom has a sister that is both a feeler and a sharer. My mom and her sister are best friends, so naturally, over the course of her life my mom has gotten a pretty thorough run down of my aunt's life. I remember commenting to my mom once how her sister always seemed to be going through really hard things. My mom agreed that that was true, but also said that she goes through hard things too, but she chooses not tell people about it. My mom is a do it herself-er, pull up your bootstraps and get going kind of person.Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-59835902821057300162016-06-22T16:11:00.001-07:002016-06-22T16:11:54.040-07:00The Time Lorenzo was Feeling It In the Kitchen We've been listening to music a lot more as we're around the house and outside. It's been interesting to observe how the kids will get more involved in what they're doing when there's music on, whether it is taking longer on art projects or playing longer outside. It seems that music inspires their creativity and loosens their inhibitions a bit.<br />
This short video I posted of Lorenzo on Snapchat the other day is still just the funniest thing ever to me. He was in the zone...<br />
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<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-90879215402462824752016-06-22T16:06:00.000-07:002016-06-22T16:06:11.612-07:00Ellie's First Dance Recital Ellie had her first dance recital a couple of weeks ago. Her feelings for dance had been all over the board in the 5 months she was enrolled and I kept telling her she needed to at least dance in her recital, and then if she didn't want to do it any more she didn't have to. We were so pleasantly surprised that on the day of the dress rehearsal and the day of the recital she wasn't nervous at all. She was completely enthusiastic, optimistic, and excited.<br />
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She loved her dress rehearsal and was over the moon with giddiness on the day of the performance. She came out on the stage and smiled the whole time. She remembered all of her dances, and did great. Lorenzo was her biggest fan cheering her name, yelling, and clapping during her dances. Sweetheart and Papa also came to watch. Such a fun first for our family!</div>
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The evening of the performance I took my friend Joanna to a cooking class because she was moving to Utah, so we all hurried to Yogurtland together to celebrate, and then BJ slept with the kiddos on the tramp. They made it till 3 in the morning out there before it got too cold. Now Ellie says she wants to dance in the fall too. Since then she has volunteered to give the scripture and prayer in Primary on her own, and she was sooo excited to sing in Sacrament Meeting on Father's Day. Looks like we've got a performer in the family!</div>
<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-12065330301927205372016-06-18T23:50:00.001-07:002016-06-18T23:50:28.405-07:00Happy Father's Day To BJ:<br />
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Some nights I go to sleep feeling a bit chewed up and spit out. Tired after a full day with the kids, household obligations, errand running, responsibilities, and time with friends. Then there are those unexpected, rare nights that seem to sweep me off their feet with their goodness. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and sometimes I cry because God is just so good and things feel so <i>right</i>. About a month or so ago I was having one of those kinds of nights and I realized all at once that at the heart of all of my great, present day joy was you. Right alongside God, and His infinite goodness and grace was you, diligently working day in and out to be the facilitator of my hopes and dreams. The way you treat me with love and respect enables me to flourish on a daily basis. You gave me our children that are the center of my world, and have been the fulfillment of a lifetime of dreams for me. You brought me here to Southern California, a place that I love- a place that has afforded me some of my life's best friends and experiences.Your hard work that has provided us this home, this comfortable lifestyle that allows me to cook and decorate and keep a house in a way that is so deeply gratifying to me, and have experiences together that create memories and enrich our lives. You lead our home in love and righteousness in partnership with our Savior and His will. You are worthy and fighting to do and be good and noble every day.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeJGuQAoOctmMtYBPfjIHW_NUjqjANMlALi25oKz6o6qA1v3rT85dI2CJ6omrTm8tNEshWJXTfmBmumZJE_IwOnCaeih01ByyuyhNh28AyCn-z_V5VJ-K9meFOILGVsbDqpRVKQTbQfz0/s1600/IMG_4912+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeJGuQAoOctmMtYBPfjIHW_NUjqjANMlALi25oKz6o6qA1v3rT85dI2CJ6omrTm8tNEshWJXTfmBmumZJE_IwOnCaeih01ByyuyhNh28AyCn-z_V5VJ-K9meFOILGVsbDqpRVKQTbQfz0/s1600/IMG_4912+copy.jpg" /></a>It impressed me today how we carry our childhood with us forever. Together we are creating this childhood for our children that I know feels safe and happy and special. You fill all of our lives with a feeling of safety, security, comfort, love, and fun. We love when you are home with us, and even when you are away we feel your love and influence. </div>
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We hope you know how loved you are. Happy Father's day. You are one of a kind. We love you,</div>
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Ellery, Ellie, and Lorenzo</div>
Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-42076411340235419212016-06-13T00:09:00.002-07:002016-06-13T00:09:29.987-07:00Lorenzo Joseph Oh Lorenzo, my sweet, sweet boy. You are pure love. Everyone that knows you, loves you. You bring a smile to anyone's face. Your enthusiastic hugs make my day. It has been such a joy to have you as my baby these last three years. You are such a loving brother and son. I can't wait to see how your little brother will learn from and take after you. Thank you for being awesome, happy, and hilarious. Thank you for being brave, and tough, and tender. You're as good as they come. So happy you came to our family. I love you, Boosk.<br />
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<br />Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-57346704079345065752016-06-13T00:03:00.000-07:002016-06-13T00:03:34.605-07:00Time with Cousins BJ and I recently went on a trip to Florida with our best friends from college. My parents were kind enough to fly down to California a couple days before the trip and then take Ellie and Lorenzo to Utah to stay at their house for a week while we were gone. My mom had watched my kiddos once before for a week long stretch when BJ and I went to Hawaii a year and a half ago, but last time she stayed here at my house. She and the kids were so happy to be in Utah where all three of my other siblings, and all of my Baum nieces and nephews live. They spent as many minutes with their cousins as possible every single day. The absolute perfect start to summer.<br />
My parents stayed a day after we left so that Ellie could be at her preschool graduation/bbq. We were so happy to have found Miss Anita this year. Ellie loved her preschool, and so did I. It was a very play-based preschool. For me it was the perfect balance of educational and fun. She loved her class of girls, and she loved Miss Anita.<br />
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The first day the kids were in Utah they went to the Thanksgiving Point Farm with Katie, Halle, Jude and Tate. They rode horses and a train and saw all sorts of farm animals. They were off to a good start!<br />
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One night they camped out in the backyard with Donny, Tate, Ramona, Ashton and Grandpa. They had a fire in the fire pit and ate "marshmallow sandwiches" (aka s'mores) as Lorenzo called them. I'm always somewhat astounded by the love between my parents and all of the grandchildren. I absolutely love, and am so grateful for how family oriented my parents have always been. They have always, always made us the top priority of their time and focus, and now my siblings have followed that example and done the same with their families, as well as the extended family. These grandchildren LOVE each other. These cousins are sweet and involved in each other's lives. So supportive and kind. We all have so much fun together. I love how all of the nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles have such a supportive, caring role in one another's lives.<br />
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If there were fun activities planned the kids were thrilled, but if not, they still wanted to be together to just hang out.<br />
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When I came back I spent four days in Utah with the family before coming home. My dad said he heard Lorenzo cry in the couple days I was there than he heard the whole time I was gone. So sad that that's how it is as a mom, but really, that's the best way to have it. So happy my children were good and happy for my mom and dad, and so grateful for them and their involvement in my children's lives.<br />
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My family and Utah are always so good to us. The late nights with cousins, swimming, baseball games, shaved ice, and camp fires were the perfect way to kick off summer. Here's Ellie and Lorenzo in a full-to-the-top bubble bath the last night we were there.Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5849391275062943176.post-49572667813622643592016-06-08T21:21:00.000-07:002016-06-08T21:21:24.630-07:00Summer Thoughts Although we're only a couple weeks in, summer feels like its in full swing. Going on a vacation to Florida the week before Memorial Day, then spending 5 warm days in Utah, and now having been swimming every day this week, our sun kissed skin and happily worn out bodies are testaments each night of the fun-filled days we've been having. Eating lots of produce, and the occasional ice cream cone are also nods to the hot summer days we all love.<br />
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Now that I'm 22 weeks along and feeling much better than before (I actually feel like myself again!), I can't help but feel like I'm swelling with a renewed appreciation for life and all its simple pleasures. In spite of summer's laid-back mentality; well displayed in my one summer goal of swimming as many days of the week as possible, I came across a quote today that has me thinking about the choices I'm making and the path of my life right now and where it's leading me.<br />
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"There is great power in pondering about the expectations we have for our lives. We become what we expect to become. I invite each of you to pause for a moment today and ponder about your expectations. Interview yourself. You may ask questions such as:<br />
What am I expecting to accomplish in my life? What am I expecting ultimately to become? What am I doing that I shouldn't be doing? Are the things I'm doing today going to lead me to accomplish the expectations I have for my life? What does the Lord expect of me in my future?<br />
I would suggest that you sit and think quietly about what you want to accomplish in your lifetime. Make a realistic and clear list of your expectations. Then make a plan for how to fulfill those expectations." -M. Russell Ballard<br />
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Do you love that? Does that get you excited, or does it overwhelm you? I'm a natural born dreamer/ponderer. I am romantic, and poetic and I love to lose myself in thoughts like these. Ultimately, my expectations for my life are simple, and mighty. I don't feel the need to do or see it all, but I want to make my corner of the world better. I want to spread gladness and beauty and comfort and love to those within my sphere of influence. I want to be deliberate at home- making things with my hands and my heart that bring beauty, consistency, and splendor to the lives of my husband, children and friends. I want to live simply- to really focus on the things that matter to me: my faith, my husband, my children, my family and friends, service to others, learning, and creating a beautiful, welcoming, and safe environment for those people I love. I want to ultimately become someone that leaves an indelible legacy behind- a woman of faith and kindness. Someone that served that and that was fearlessly committed to living a life that she felt was right. I want to teach my children. I want to teach them to live by faith and to listen to the Spirit. To live right because they love God. I want to teach them to love to learn and to expect a lot out of themselves in school. I want to read and foster children who love to read. I want to be healthy and help my family be healthy and active. I want to learn and teach my children how to be genuinely empathetic- to be excited for other people's successes.<br />
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One of the questions was, "Are the things I'm doing today going to lead me to accomplish the expectations I have for my life?" This question motivated me to get on the computer and blog tonight. I love to write. I really want to write a book one day. Right now I think it would fall into the style of book that reads like a journal. Books like Bread and Wine, A Homemade Life, and Girlfriends Forever. I would cover different topics, most likely revolving around home and family. Maybe some insights on gardening, cooking, recipes, decorating, and general good living and inspiration. I sometimes realize that it's not going to be easy to whip that book out one day if I'm not practicing along the way. I've had a handful of spiritual promptings over the past few years to encourage me to blog, and now that I'm feeling well again, and now that I have a beautiful, new laptop of my own, I simply have to make time in my life for this outlet that I love so much. The kitchen to clean and the floors to vacuum and mop are waiting for me, but I know that if even just for myself, this writing is important.<br />
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"What does the Lord expect of me in my future?" This question seems hard to answer as I'm not the one directly answering the question. I would hope and assume that if I'm on His path and doing the things I know are right, and if I couple that with sincere prayer and listening to the Spirit I know that I will be doing what the Lord expects of me. So I guess that ultimately the Lord expects me to continue on, trying my best, while doing the things he directs me to do.<br />
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Ellery Pugmirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09846440480366367696noreply@blogger.com0